It’s okay to have a type – it’s normal. It’s okay to prefer people with a certain personality or to want someone with common interests, or even to prefer blondes over redheads – something harmless enough to dismiss if you did take interest in a redhead. However, a person’s race isn’t a preference. Choosing to date or not to date someone based on their race is racist.
This is, of course, a sensitive subject and probably an uncomfortable discussion to have. No one wants to think they are racist. Of course, racism exists on different levels and is real whether conscious or unconscious. If you asked someone why they refused to date anyone of a certain race, the answer would almost certainly be rooted in a stereotype, or claimed to be a physical taste. “They’re skin is too dark,” or “I think they’re lazy.” Maybe they say they don’t have a problem with X race – they are just personally incapable of finding anyone of that race attractive.
University of Washington sociology professor emeritus Pierre Van Den Bergh believes the “‘natural’ sexual preference is for partners who are broadly similar to oneself, in good physical condition, and in control of good resources,” as he says in his book, “The Ethnic Phenomenon.” However, he goes on to say that there is no evidence that preferences are biologically determined. Professor emeritus of anthropology at the University of California in Santa Barbara Donald Symons explains further in his book, “The Evolution of Human Sexuality,” saying that during the majority of the evolutionary history of the human race, our ancestors didn’t travel enough to encounter someone of a different “race” and “it’s very unlikely that we evolved any psychological (brain) adaptations, sexual or otherwise, that have to do with race.”
In other words, no one is biologically incapable of finding another race attractive, romantically or sexually. There are certain racial features that have been coded as attractive or ugly to us through media our entire lives and the environment we have grown up in – this much is true – but any inability to find someone of a certain race attractive can only be blamed on our own prejudices we should be ready to admit and overcome.
Race does not and should not determine one’s appeal as a romantic or sexual partner. It is understandable to desire a partner from the same cultural background as you, or someone that understands the unique circumstances associated with being what you are – but to exclude an entire race or entire races from your dating pool is an act of racism, pure and simple.